Honorable Mentions:
Joe Mauer and upper management in the Minnesota Twins organization
I'm not going to harp on Joe for making a lot of money and being injured, but because of the vague nature of what his injuries are. Bilateral leg weakness? General soreness? Lyme Disease? Cancer? Twins brass and Joe just needed to set the record straight on what was wrong with him. They would be higher but Mauer showed a willingness to play right field and first base which will help him in the long run. If healthy Mauer is still one of the three or four best hitters in the game.
I do not know who runs it, but a 12 1/2 foot, three door car sponsored by J.Lo? All involved in this deserve an honorable mention
Lead singer for rock band Kings of Leon stormed off-stage drunk in Dallas early in their North American tour. Some 40 tour dates were then cancelled citing "exhaustion". This after they had to cancel a handful of American tour dates in 2009. Twitter messages sent by other band member suggested more serious problems. Being the biggest American rock band since Pearl Jam has to cause stress and self doubt, but you need to step up to the plate and deliver. Tours of Canada, South Africa and Australia were played and went without a hitch and this week Followill and wife Lily Aldridge announced they were expecting their first child saving him from only an honorable mention.
Like I even need to explain. The actions happened in the past and Paterno breaking his pelvis twice, battling cancer and surely having early on-set dementia leads to this only being an honorable mention.
Jonathan and Drew Scott
Better known as HGTV's "Property Brothers," these two clowns take a couple into a home, have them fall in love with said property, then pull the rug out from under them by telling them the place costs roughly $500,000 more than their budget. If that's not a**holey enough, they then take a dilapidated dump that's in their price range and spruce up one, maybe two rooms. Congrats you have a $50,000 kitchen and $25,000 in upgrades in the master bath. You still don't have a garage and there's mildew in the unfinished basement. Extra points for being really creepy looking.
Kim-Jong Il, Muammar Gaddafi and Osama bin Laden
One last posthumous lap for these three!
Protesters
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker caught huge attention earlier in the year for his battle with the teacher's union in what actually became the precursor to the "Occupy" movement. Walker should be an honorable mention not because of his anti-union stance, but because of what it led to. Completely hateable protesters and a lost message. Like the religious stance- don't hate on the message (the 10 Commandments) because of those sending it (pedophile Priests, crooked "community leading" Reverends), there is nothing wrong with what the pro-union and anti-Wall Street protesters were out to fight against. But Wisconsin DFL legislatures hiding out in Illinois so they could avoid their jobs?, anarchists stealing and dealing in the hack knee tent towns?, Near billionaire celebrities giving their opinion like they are the common people? By Thanksgiving the transparency of the message was all but lost.
Lil' Wayne
Because he's breathing
David Stern
Coming off an incredible NBA playoffs, the players union and management waited until the last second to even begin negotiating a collective bargaining agreement. The lock-out was bad enough that it made the NFL and their labor issues seem like it made sense. As soon as the lockout ended Stern vetoed a trade that would have sent superstar point guard Chris Paul to the Lakers. Within two weeks Paul was then sent to the Clippers, which would kind of like turning down a huge movie role, only to do a less promising movie role that probably won't turn out as well. Worst yet, Stern's power play with the Paul saga took attention away from the LeBron James and the Miami Heat, the greatest global icon and team in recorded history.
Runner-Up
Herman Cain
The affable buisnessman rode his catchy "9-9-9" tax plan to the forefront of the polls. Not because he had a novel plan that could work, but because by October I think the average person was sick of Republican debates. He was the only one who was not a stiff politician. Mitt, Newt, (especially) Rick P., Michelle and Rick S. all deserve honorable mention*, but Herman takes the cake for the sexual harassment allegations by multiple women from his past opening him up for fodder from late night pundits. Herman is incredibly likable, but it is what he represents that gets him this spot. He had the balls to run for President with a laughably small staff, poor advertisement, a complete lack of knowledge on foreign affairs and denial that past hound dogging would come back to bite him.
*Ron Paul does not deserve consideration because he's half insane/half genius, nor does John Huntsman because he had a funny, self deprecating bit on SNL's "Weekend Update."
2011 A**hole of the Year
The Guy who dumped ADELE
The nameless, faceless British dude who led to the music smash hit of 2011. It is his deeds that lead to the singles "Rolling in the Deep", "Rumour Has It", "Someone Like You" and "Set Fire to the Rain".
The entire 21 album is a winner. Part of it I think is we don't know who he is. He just represents every guy that ever did anything wrong to any women who ever lived. But if you're a man and the biggest album with several hit songs was written about you, how would you go about it? Especially if pretty much no one knows it's you? That would get to me. If I'm him I would beg ADELE to go to the presses and say it's me so at least I could become tabloid famous and get a reality show or something. But he gets nothing! Congrats to you, John Doe, you are the a**hole of the year!
As an aside what a year for ADELE. 10 years ago the mold was you had to look like Britney, Christina or Beyonce to be a mainstream pop star, talent or not. At least in the last decade we've diversified.
Obviously if you are still gorgeous but can't sing you'll still be a star. If you can write and be attractive, the sky's the limit. Lady Gaga is as big as it gets and let's be honest, she looks like a weasel, but she can write and perform and took Madonna's gimmick and took it up notch. Hell, you can even be a transvestite and be a star in 2011! As outrageous as Katy Perry, Gaga and Nikki Minaj are here's plain ole' ADELE just belting out great songs. My hats off too her, I'm a big fan.
I'll always remember 2011 for a handful of reasons. Middle Eastern tyrants get slayed like a video game, protesting coast to coast and the year a husky, red-headed 22 year-old from England was the biggest star in music. If I were to tell 14 year-old me about this stuff in 2001 how confused would I be? Remarkable.
